physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
