Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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