He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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