u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
