so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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