Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
