he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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