I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
