i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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