His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize