he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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