it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
