Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
