I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize