You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize