Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize