I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Randomize
