u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
