omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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