Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
