He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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