i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
worst night to have a conscience
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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