I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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