I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
