For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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