yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize