we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
