so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
