okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
