No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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