I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
