I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
