It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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