Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
