Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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