i don't like sucking hair
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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