And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
