Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
