I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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