My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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