Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
