im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
