The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
that may or may not have been my penis.
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