:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
