butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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