You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
