im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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