Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
