I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
