Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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