therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
