Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
