All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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