there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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