He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
