I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
