Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
