i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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