I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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