you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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