Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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