Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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