Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
