Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
