she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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