I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
