woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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