2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
