piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize